Whirlwind...and a white flag

Whirlwind of Emotions that is. So much is going on and has gone on in the past few weeks. 2 Babies who's blogs I have followed for months have gone to Heaven, Friends and family are having babies. Corbin is mobile, The bus is being painted (the bus is my release) Soli is... Well Soli is heading in the right direction... I think....

I have so many emotions running thru me lately.
Sadness for Kayleigh and now baby Faith but relief that they are free from their broken bodies.
Rejoiceful that Myah got 93 glorious days with her daughter because she chose not to take Faith's life but to allow God to chose when she had to leave.
Happy Casey is having her little girl and nervous at the same time because I know just how fragile a pregnancy can be.
Thankful my friend D is there to talk to.
Anger that I cannot keep it all together.
Frustration that I cannot seem to get the kids to listen, help or even care about anything or anyone other than themselves.
Depressed about the state of the house and the fact that I cannot get a break.

Disappointment because I have failed Soli and now I do not know which is the right move to make. What if I chose the wrong thing for her? Why do I have to make the choice alone?
Resentment that Tom does not seem to deal with the kids well at all anymore (since coming home from Iraq.)
Loss because the husband I sent to Iraq is not the same one who came home to me.
I feel like holding up the white flag and waving it frantically hoping God will see it.

(I think he is up there laughing at me. "Tis no rest for the weary!")

Faith has flown to Heaven

www.babyfaithhope.blogspot.com

Please take a moment to pray for Faith's family. Faith was diagnosed in utero with anencephaly. The doctors told her mother to terminate her pregnancy because the baby had a 0% chance at survival. Her mother chose to carry her and to cherish the time that God would give her with her daughter. Even if she did not survive to birth her mother was determined to carry her untill God chose to take her. Faith made it thru the pregnancy and delivery and lived for 93 days! Today Myah held her as she made her way to Jesus. Please keep their family in your thoughts tonight.

Cloth Diapers

Ok many people know that I cloth diaper my babes and there is a new "system" out called Gro Baby. I would LOVE to try these as I think I almost have every kind of dipe out there and have still not found my to die for ones. You can check out the gro baby systems here Gro Baby.

An Award... For ME??

Can you believe it? I got a Blogging award! Reveda my friend from India (who has been following my blog since shortly after Soli's birth) has given me the "Honest Scrap" award and has tagged me to say 10 things about myself - with full honesty. So, here goes -
1. I am a very determined person.

2. I am not used to being told no or not getting my way. This has served me well in my life and I don't let anyone tell me I cannot do something.

3. I moved in with Tom the week after we met. Yea you can ask him about the trailer.. Haha.

4. I have always known I would have lots of kids (or at least hoped I would)

5. I am a shopaholic but my forte' is thrift stores.

6. I am currently obsessed with Twilight Yes Pathetic I know but still, I wanna be a Cullen, I mean who in their right mind wouldn't??!!

7. I am not a neat freak and my Husband is OCD (great combo there huh?!)

8. I have delt with nearly all of MacKenzie's surgeries ect by myself.

9. I do not trust many people with my babies, once they are older and can fend for themselves then I let up quite a bit but only I can properly care for my baby in my mind.

10. How do I do it? Honestly I do not know. I don't know how I do not go crazy, well since we are being honest I do feel crazy at times, I even have momentary bouts of feeling like I am not good enough to do it and the occational moments of I no longer want to do it (I am only human!) but somehow, I just do.

OK I have to tag a 7 bloggers for this award:

1. Dawn
2. MckMama
3. Jennifer
4. april's mom
5. Casey
6. Sheree
7. myah

When you give a kid a twinkie,

When you give a Kid a Twinkie...

You...

Get...

A....

MESS!

Not Me Monday

OK let me think....
I did not go to my friend Katie's house to help her clean and Laugh hysterically at her when she freaked out because she found a HUGE black Widow! NOT ME!

I did not spend over $100 in matching clothes for my daughter and Granddaughter and then refuse to send said clothes home with my granddaughter. NOT ME!

I also did not start a blog about the bus and I did not buy the domain name www.theTWILIGHTbus.com I mean I would not paint and design a bus dedicated to a Vampire series! NOT ME!

Oh By the way there are a few more not me's not on that bus link!

I know a secret... And I'm not telling!!!

HAHAHA! I know something you don't know and I could not be happier. (Love ya Dawn!!) I got to spend a little over an hour talking to my friend Dawn today. It was so much fun I really wish we lived closer to each other. We talked about kids and baby "E" and other Unnamed blogs and blog writers and STUFF in General. Yea yea I know I cheated on this post but...

On To Soli:
We did her Upper GI and swallow study yesterday. Good news is all her anatomy is there and good. Bad news is after stressing her over not eating and the exam we had to put her NG tube back in. Dr M sent her referral into the peds surgeon and We will be going there next week. The docs say she still needs a G-tube but we are unsure about the fundo.. Well goodnight for now..

HEY DAWN: how about another 2 weeks and this time rules say you can miss 2 posts total?!