Monday, June 1, 2009

45 hours

It is hard to believe that in the past almost 6 months we have gone from this:

To this:

From 25 ounces to 8 and a half pounds!

5 months and 5 days ago I was here:

Watching them wisk my daughter off for Heart Surgery.
Today I am holding her closer knowing that in 45 hours I will once again watch my daughter roll thru the doors marked Surgery and I will take a long deep breath as the doors shut behind her knowing I will not breathe again till I am by her side in recovery.
I think I am more scared about this smaller surgery than I was about her heart surgery. Maybe it's because I cannot picture my life without this little wonder. Because since I have been with her all this time I know what I would be missing if she was not here.
I have been so torn about this surgery. I want to do what is best for her and after much deliberation, I think this is it. I can only say I think because I do have some reservations though in the end the benefits far outweigh the negatives.
45 hours.
45 more hours to look at her perfect little body.
45 hours more to kiss her little face.
45 hours more before she is changed forever.
45 hours more to hold her close, snuggle her body and breathe in her scent before handing her over to strangers.
45 hours.
So far yet so close. So for the next 45 hours I am going to love on my daughter, not think of the what ifs, cherish every coo and movement, every smile and even her cry.
45 hours more that I am going to pray to God to keep her safe and pray to him for the peace that I am making the right choice for her.


ABCDE=Party of 5 for ME! said...

HUGS sweetie! I will be praying for you today and tommorrow (like always)!!! Wish we were closer to help out with the other kids so Tom could be there to!


sheree said...

Big hugs Dani!

Enjoy your 45 hours. I have no doubt Soli will do great with this surgery but I know it is frightening all the same.

Always in my prayers.

Tiffany said...

Hi! I'm not sure how I found your blog but am glad I did! My water broke at 23 weeks. I was on bedrest until I went into labor and my daughter was born at 25 weeks. She spent 3 1/2 months in the NICU. When she was born she weighed 1 1/2 pounds and is now over 15! Prayers make all the difference and I am adding your family to mine!

Flip-flop Mama said...

I will keep you and her in my prayers!

JD said...

I am joining you in prayer for Soli's surgery... I am reminded of the song Miracle Of The Moment from Steven Curtis Chapman, and I'm going to be breathing in and breathing out right along with you, for the next 45 hours, through the surgery, and as you join her in the recovery room. Praying every step of the way!!

Love & Hugs,


Kathryn @ Expectant Hearts said...

I found your blog from the discussion at MckMama's blog frog. I will be praying for you as well.. FWIW, our youngest son had a g-tube put in at 5 weeks old due to a congenital heart defect and fatiguing too much to eat. I resisted for a few weeks but came to really appreciate the g-tube as it alleviated MANY nutrition concerns! If you mentioned it, I didn't see.. is she having a "simple g-tube" or are they doing a fundoscopy (usually for reflux) too?

Praying with you!

Dilly said...

every time i see pictures of lil Soli when she was born to what she is now i cry.

you have one amazing daughter there. to match the rest of your amazing kids.

Keeping her in my thoughts!

The Pifer's said...

Thank you for stopping by my blog-I will keep your family in my prayers and I will have the girls post your prayer request on Thursday for "Thinking of you Thursday"...please keep us updated and let us know if you need any other prayer request.

Your little girl and your family is in my prayers!

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