Alone today

Well today is the first day I have been alone with the kids in over 3 weeks! Well since Nov 29th so I guess in almost a month. I had the sitter come over while I went to a dr appt to check on my incision and to find out what I am still in so much pain. She said the incision looks really good and she opened a 1/4 - 1/2 inch section of my incision to see if there was any fluid stuck inside. There wasn't so she is happy with my progress and thank God gave me some more pain meds and told me this week should be better. I sure hope so. I never realized just how far the NICU was from the parking lot till you walk it half bent over. Now I am home with the kids and we are doing well.

I am keeping up with my pumping and happy to announce that Happy Mr Corbin has only had 1, 4 oz formula bottle in the past 3 days! Yes he is a Happy Boy!! I really wish he would nurse again so it would be much easier but I am happy he is helping me keep up my supply without having to buy a 3rd freezer to keep it all in!

As for Soli she is still having alot of Bradys (her heart slowing down) but they are going to start her feedings again. Hopefully she will tolerate them this time, I mean third times a charm right? She is 1 lb 10 ozs and is finally gaining after dropping to 1 lb 5 ozs after her birth. I bought her the cutest Christmas outfit and I will get to put it on her maybe tomorrow or Wed. I will post pics when I do. I am sad because I have been out of comission for so long that I did not get to take Corbin to see Santa. It is his first Christmas too and I can't physically take him to the mall to get a pic with Santa.

I am doing a bit better, I am ok most of the day. It is when I am in bed at night that Soli not being here with us hits me the most. I am down to my Pre-pregnancy weight of 128 and instead of being happy about that I am sad. I keep trying to look at it as I need to heal and be good as new for when she comes home. We would be 27 weeks today. I was in the shower last night and I counted up all the weeks early my kids were and with Soli's missing weeks I have missed an entire 40 weeks, one whole pregnancy! Needless to say I cannot emotionally do this again so I am certain that Soli is our last baby. I feel sad but know that is what is best. Soli's birth has been the most taxing and the hardest recovery physically for me. Not only that but the incision they had to make to get her out is up and down on my uterus so this does not do well for another pregnancy either.

I have to say that since Soli's birth I have met some of the most generous and caring people. I mean people who don't even know us have helped us out in so many ways. I am so thankful for all of these Angels helping our angel and our family. I mean from helping pay for a sitter, gas, meds to making special cloth diapers for her small baby butt, to bringing my family food. Thank you all for your generosity. Especially during these hard times, I know that none of you have to do anything for us and Like I said I am so thankful for everything, everyone has done.